Naked, the Judas in Me Fell by the Tracks but He Lifted Me High

Lately I've been thinking about Judas. Judas in the Bible who betrayed Jesus for thirty pieces of silver. Was it thirty? I can't quite remember. But with blood money it hardly matters. Anyway, I've been thinking about him and wondering if he made it to heaven.



I'm inclined to think that he did. Yes, he made money his master. He betrayed the Son of God with a kill on His cheek. And afterwards, when the regret became too much, he killed himself. Yes, Judas made several mistakes that still echo in the hearts of the saints.



But am I any better? The Word says that a sin is a sin; they are all every one a betrayal to our Lord and not one is worse than another. Lust is as bad as adultry; hate as evil as murder in God's eyes. A prideful heart is an abomination to Him, as is a lying tongue.



Yes, Judas' mistakes changed history, but according to God's Word, his sins are no worse than mine.



How many times have I 'edited the truth'? How many times has my heart been grossly prideful and I didn't even care? How many times have I dishonored my parents? I still wear scars of dishonoring my body--His temple--like a pegan.

Direct disobedience. Is that not a form of betrayal?



No, I am no better than Judas. He is remembered as a shameful traitor, but he must have had good in him. He must have loved Christ. He was one of The Twelve; selected by God to represent one of the precious tribes of His chosen people. Jesus thought that Judas deserved that honor, and because of a few weak moments--with catastrophic consequences, I admit--he is shamed forever.

I wonder if he would consider this tarnished legacy's fate worse than being completely forgotten? Probably. His guilt and regreat was so great that it drove him to suicide. He loved Christ. Isn't that the bottom line for salvation?



The only unforgiveable sin is written as 'blaspheming the Lord'. I've heard it interpreted as 'continually denying Christ until death'. That interpretation makes sense to me, when cross-referencing it with scripture that speaks about mercy and forgiveness; about all of our sins being washed clean by the Lamb if we let Him. Not ‘all sin except for one’. All sins. And so, it makes sense that the only sin He doesn’t forgive would be ‘denial until death’, because that would mean the sinner never allowed Christ to give him the fullest extent of forgiveness.

Judas loved Jesus. Judas let Him in. Judas was repentant. Judas was a sinner. Christ came to save the sinners, if they will believe in Him. Judas believed. I believe. If Judas is doomed, then so am I, because a sin is a sin and not one of us is righteous—“No, not one.”

I’m not a biblical scholar. I haven’t done research or consulted with anyone wiser than I. But from my limited knowledge of scripture and the mercy and grace He has shown me, I think Judas will be in the community of Paradise. Stripped of guilt and his own humanity, as Christ does for every believer, all that’s left is love and praise for the Savior. If God is truly as loving and merciful as scripture claims—and I believe He is—it would be just like Him to forgive Judas and I and welcome us into Paradise with open arms.

Maybe you don't think its ok that I relate to Judas here. Maybe you aren't as messed up as I am (or have been before). But I'm getting tired of pretending that I'm any better than this; any better than I am.