Second day of real college (I say "real college" cause I attended JCCC for a while but that was for dual credits and it felt like more of a purgatory between high school and college than an actual university experience). The number of activities they have us running to and fro between should be considered freshman abuse.

I'm making myself take some pictures, cause even though right now I don't have any friends here and I don't feel like a part of things, I know (at least I hope) that I will eventually and I'll probably want to remember my first week.

I'm sure every other freshman is feeling this way: I can't see myself really being part of this community. It's hard to imagine, when there are no familiar faces; no go-to group where I have a place and a character part. It's hard to imagine that it will ever be that way. It never got that way at JCCC, but I didn't live there (though I practically did) and that school was huge and not Christ-focused like MNU. So I'm hoping that living at a smallish school that centers around something close to my heart will make for a good place for me; a setting in which I belong.

I haven't had that feeling anywhere (except home) for a long time, probably since Faithwalkers week in December of '05. An essential part of an essential group, full of life and passion, making innocent trouble and eating tea bags, just because they were there and we were hyper. Not worrying about anything. Not about looking good or looking bad or appearing immature or seeming like an "attention whore" (yes, I have been called that) or how many calories is in that. Just doing and being and no thinking past "is this morally ok".
People think it's hard to think about what's "right" and "wrong"...and it is, but think about how much simpler things would be if that's ALL we had to worry about.

There were times before that week that were like that too. Ugh, I miss those times more than anything.

So now I'm hoping and praying that times like those will come again with starting school here. If they never come again...I don't know what I'll do.